Recently my 14 year old teen son asked me if he could dye his hair and would I help him. As I sat listening to this question my immediate reaction was to scream no!
I love my son’s light blonde hair which any girl or woman would want – in fact – a lot of women are dying their hair just to get close to my son’s colour.
As all the reasons not to let him do it rushed through my mind, I realised I needed to be mindful that my son had taken the time to come to me and be open and ask so I needed to show him the same respect he had shown me and sit and listen to what he had to say.
When it came down to it, my son is trying to express himself. He also wants to be fashionable and trendy and for him that means dying his hair a darker colour as well as wearing shorts when there is snow on the ground. Honestly I know when I’m old when I no longer get fashion trends!
Of course when it comes to my children all I want to do is protect them but there are times when my own insecurities come in to play because I know part of my wanting to say no would be to do with what other people think of me as a parent.
I discussed the conversation with my husband and we both agreed that we would allow our son to dye his hair and that I would help him.
We want both our sons to grow up and be confidence in themselves but also be able to express themselves and also disagree with us if they have an alternative point of view. It is an extremely important life skill which research has shown will help them resist peer pressure which can lead to risky behaviours we wouldn’t want our children to do.
Seeing our children have confidence in themselves is something that I as a parent am particularly proud of and while their choices in clothes and hair colour wouldn’t be something I would have picked, I know by allowing them to express themselves will continue to help them develop self confidence.
Of course there are things that as a parent I will continue to provide guidance on and won’t allow them to do especially if those actions have consequences to their health and wellbeing. However, dying hair a different colour is one expression I’m happy for my son to make.
I would love to hear your views on this.
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