This is a guest post by the lovely Laura from Beauty by the Green Blog.
There is no other way to describe it except as Hell. It is no exaggeration. To be made to feel you are exaggerating is an insult, but hey.. One cannot understand it unless one has been through it. There are women who mentally cannot cope any longer and this has sadly resulted in pregnancies being terminated because there is just not enough support. And that is tragic to know. It is really hard work. It is just like being a prisoner in your own body. To sleep is your only respite. (But then you don’t experience that respite!) Your loved one is there for you, witnessing it first hand, being your rock. Wishing you could eat a decent meal with him or go out for the day or just cuddle up in bed. But not even he knows just how poorly you feel. To truly look as grey as you feel. No energy to dress, let alone shower or care for your personal hygiene. Teeth wouldn’t get brushed from one day to the next. (Which makes me cringe). To barely be able to stand up straight. Breathing makes you want to vomit. Any small movement is sickening. There is no food to throw up so you wretch and wretch so much that your insides ache. Barely bringing up bile. Salivating so much you need tissues and cups to constantly spit into for the day. Sobbing yourself to sleep wishing this awful nausea would just pass. Just living from sofa to bed, sofa to bed. Trying to nibble on a single dry cracker for the entire day. No enjoyment of your amazing pregnancy and life. Sense of smell? Better than a dog. Much better. The smell of… Let’s see, EVERYTHING made me want to hurl. Clothes I now cannot wear again because I wore them at the time so they make me feel sick to look at them now. Perfumes tossed in the bin. I’ll never wear those nice ones I used to love ever again. Goodbye Lancôme Tresor .. You were once lovely! Feeling like a fraud because ‘it cant be that bad- its normal’ and ‘don’t treat it like an illness’. (It actually is though). I can’t even walk into my local supermarket anymore without holding my breath because of the memory of that ‘smell’. I could go on and on as you may have realised. Apologies! And finally. The cherry on the top. Being asked repeatedly by kind, well-meaning friends and relatives if you have tried ginger sodding biscuits.
Ginger biscuits …ginger ale….ginger everything…dry crackers….small sips of water…Twiglets.. (urgh)…Honesty, nothing works. And if you haven’t guessed it, yes I do wish more people realised that this awful condition exists. Hypereme-what? People will say. In the early days, my hair made me feel so ill (don’t know why) that I asked for my hairdresser to chop it all off. One day whilst at that salon, before the HG got to its peak and I shuffled along to the place, somebody in there said in jest, ‘it’s not a disability’ and laughed at me. Good grief and as if I would want this god-awful feeling to engulf me the way it did?! As if I would revel in it? Milk morning sickness for all its worth ? All I wanted was to enjoy my pregnancy, the best thing in the world. And to bloom and feel and look amazing. With great skin and lovely locks. Nope. Doesn’t exist! Not for us anyway!
So I really feel for those women currently suffering. I know how hard it is. I know you feel that nobody understands, and indeed, a lot of people don’t, but some of us out there really do. I promise. If you are suffering right now and are reading this, take comfort in that it won’t last forever. It seems like it will. In fact, nothing anybody tells you right now will make you feel better. Not even me. But know that you are so much stronger in body and in mind for getting through this, on top of pregnancy in itself anyway. It will be a mental victory in itself. You have this to overcome. And you shall. The body and mind is such a wonderful, amazing thing. More amazing than you can ever imagine. Stay strong. And for those who have been lucky to escape without experiencing this horrid, horrid nastiness, I hope this sheds some light on how poorly people can feel in this condition and that it is not over-exaggeration or dramatics, but that it is real and your support will go a long way. Help spread the awareness of HG- something that is so poorly publicised.
For more support, I am always here to return any messages on the issue, would welcome any comments and also would like to direct you to Pregnancy Sickness Support forum:
This website was absolutely instrumental in me finding some hope and solace in those really bad weeks.